sitting on your ass at night watching you tube documentaries instead of going to bed

3/10, just go to bed.

review of Winnipeg

Spaghetti world has happened, spaghetti  world has passed.. We still have Winnipeg Manitoba. I went there two weeks ago to check on how it’s going. Winnipeg is a frozen shithole, no jolly way of putting it. Expect to be railed in questioning at the Canadian border control by an officer who neglected to check the fridge for sour cream. You will enter Canada scared and snowmobilers will be speeding past you going far faster than the posted hundred kilometers an hour. Techno will be playing on the radio. You will be in post spaghetti Canada. 

The first thing to do is one of the few worthwhile things to do in Winnipeg. Get a Fatboy Burger. If you do not get a FatBoy Burger while in Winnipeg… DO NOT GO! FatBoy bottom to top: Bun! Cheese! Burger patty! Fatboy chili! pickle! Tomato! Onion!  shredded lettuce! Mayo! Bun!  I Got mine from DariWhip (Winnipeg, MB R2H 0V4383 Marion St.). This was the best burger I have ever had. 

The second thing to do is nothing. Walk around and talk to the locals, they will tell you “stay warm, uhhhhh…. {insert mediocre bar} is ok, the ice is pretty good”. Canadians are kind, they have five pin bowling. Five pin bowling is fun, but not a reason to go to Winnipeg. People get all confused when you go to Winnipeg for fun, I get it now, it’s not fun. You can make the best of it but it’s no destination city. 

Winnipeg you have a french speaking neighborhood, bad bars, great burgers, kind people, cold ass weather, empty streets, and an enthusiastic bowling scene. 5/10. 

Fun fact: Winnipeg’s largest hill is an ex landfill locally known as “garbage hill”.